By: Gregory Brown, MD/PhD Candidate
A lot of people emphasize that our perspective shapes our emotional reactions to the world, and that is quite true. We are sensory processing individuals. We use pattern recognition and emotional mechanisms to interact with our surroundings. However, that is quite vague and unhelpful. Perhaps by identifying detrimental processes, we can learn to re-frame how we view situations. Here are but a few common negative perspectives:
Generalization
Past experiences do not dictate the future. We naturally base our future predictions on a statistical average of the past. This is the basis of artificial intelligence and machine learning. In our case, there is nothing artificial about it, but the same principles apply. However, new situations are exactly that: new. We can grow and adapt and may be capable of handling the new situation differently. So just because you failed before, does not mean you will fail again.
Magnification
Not every minor inconvenience is the end of the world. Many people develop a martyr mentality that they are handling things so well. For example, the “this is fine” meme with a dog in a burning house or the “keep calm and carry on” slogans. It generates a thought that the world is burning and everything is terrible. In fact, these small issues are not a big deal. And your constant stressing and focusing on little inconveniences is causing you more mental harm than anything else.
Personalization
Other people’s actions are not your responsibility. Some people are mean, hurtful, bad people. And their toxicity should not weigh you down emotionally. Long relationships are inundated with nuances and cutting ties is rarely easy. But sometimes you must take an egocentric view. Other’s failures do not equate to your failures. Everyone is responsible for their own actions (including you and your actions), so you mustn’t always carry other’s burdens, especially if you are not in the right headspace to do so.
Discounting the positive
Don’t dismiss the positives, instead focus on them. Life never goes perfectly, and it is easy to pick up on the things that went wrong. However, this is detrimental and will only bring more sadness. Identify the positives, what went right, and how you can ensure that more things go right in the future. Optimism can be learned by being mindful of our thoughts and what we focus on. There is something to be said for faking it until you make it. Every time you realize you are listing all the negatives about a situation, make sure to also make a list of the positives as well.
Life is about how you react to it. Nobody has a perfect life, but positive thinking can help to frame your viewpoint in a more positive way. It is not always easy, especially if you are predisposed to pessimism, but identifying unhelpful perspectives and making a conscious effort to avoid them can go a long way.